De forté of Airtel... customer service???

If you've ever wanted something done that you can't do yourself, what's the first thing you do?

Find someone who can get the job done right?

What happens when it's your job to do it? Picture a customer care person who's being asked a question on the phone. Now picture the question as being the metaphorical equivalent of the question of the meaning of life, the universe and everything.

You sit some poor kid who's fresh out of school following which they're given diction and voice training for a while and a crash course in how to read scripts from a screen at one end of the line and erm... a customer asking a few questions beyond the scope of the script at the other end. The result is either a very frustrated kid or customer.

I'd rather spare most of these guys from such ordeals... I've heard them squeak "we'll have to get back to you on that" before asking me if there'll be anything else I can maim them with. Airtel (conveniently) provides a mail address where you can write to them if you have any queries, so I thought since there's no real time exchange of information, no one has to be embarrassed by their knowledge (or lack of). Also, in case they don't know the answers they can either look them up or ask someone who might know.

I thought wrong.

This is my mail exchange with customer care in Bangalore (I've got a roaming number from there while I'm sitting in Delhi - Delhi customer care maintains that they can't give me any information since I'm a Bangalore customer and I need to contact them directly).

Me:

Hi,
My number is 9xxxxxxxxxx.
I'd found information on your page which says I can get EDGE services on my Airtel mobile for Rs. 299/month. The link to this page is at
http://www.airtel.in/Postpaid_otherservice.aspx?path=1/6/7/9&cid=4
I have the following queries:
1. What is the monthly download limit on this?
2. Are there any other charges?
3. Will I have to pay extra while roaming in Delhi on Airtel's network for EGDE access?
4. What sorts of speeds could I expect assuming I use an EDGE enabled device?
5. Are any IPs/domains or ports blocked?
Regards,
Sunil

Airtel:

Dear Mr. Sunil,
You have inquired regarding the EDGE services for your Airtel number 9xxxxxxxxx,
We would like inform you this will achieve the delivery of advanced mobile services such as the downloading of video and music clips, streaming, full multimedia messaging, high-speed Internet access and e-mail on the move, multiplayer games etc.
EDGE provides three times the data capacity of GPRS. Using EDGE, operators can handle three times more subscribers than GPRS; triple their data rate per subscriber, or add extra capacity to their voice communications. EDGE uses the same TDMA (Time Division Multiple Access) frame structure, logic channel and 200k Hz carrier bandwidth as today's GSM networks, which allows existing cell plans to remain intact.
It will be possible to view live TV streaming on an EDGE enabled phone ? the Nokia 6230. It will not be possible to view it on any other phone, as there is no other EDGE enabled phone that supports streaming today in India.
? The service can be subscribed and accessed from the Airtel Live portal, and can be seen under ?Live TV? on the wap portal
http://live.airtelworld.com/
? Service will be chargeable per channel per month.
? To begin with, CNBC News channel will be offered, subsequently Aaj Tak, Sports and other entertainment channel will be added as we continue to strike agreements with other TV channels.
? The CNBC channel will be offered free of cost for the time being
To access live TV, a user must have subscribed to Airtel Live portal. If not, then he needs to be provisioned for Airtel Live portal before he can access live streaming.
The settings will also be made available over the website. In a nutshell, the APN is??airtelfun.com, proxy is disabled, and the UDP port range is from 1024 ? 65535.
Currently Nokia 6230 is the only phone which supports video streaming on EDGE. Please note that by using this setting, you will not be able to access the Airtel live portal (to down load rich content like Games. Wall Papers ring tones etc) He needs to alternate between the settings as he normally does between Airtel Live (earlier called Airtel Masala) and Airtel Online.
Alternatively, you could also contact our 24 Hours customer care service by dialing 121(toll free) for same.
Regards,
Renuka Devi
Customer Support Service
Airtel

erm.... Okay Renuka... whatever you say. Not a terrible advertisement for the Nokia 6230, but you could have used a little targeting on that one.
Me:

Dear Renuka,
Thanks so much for the detailed response. I would however like responses to the questions I've asked which were:
1. What is the monthly download limit on this?
2. Are there any other charges?
3. Will I have to pay extra while roaming in Delhi on Airtel's network for EGDE access?
4. What sorts of speeds could I expect assuming I use an EDGE enabled device?
5. Are any IPs/domains or ports blocked?
Please assume I do not have a Nokia 6230, do not want to stream TV on my phone and do not want to download any content from Airtel's portal - I just want to surf the internet on my phones - one Nokia N91 and one O2 XDA Atom Life.
Thanks again,
Sunil

Airtel:

Dear Mr. Sunil,
You had inquires about the EDGE facility on your Airtel number 9xxxxxxxxx.
What kind of speeds will be available?
2 dedicated time slots will be available for EDGE. Depending on the air interface, the quality of coverage, other people in the cell area, speeds will vary between 40kbps-200 kbps. The bandwidth will get shared among as many users as present, who are using GPRS/ EDGE in that cell at that particular instant.
Live TV: (available on both Post and pre paid)
Live TV streaming is still a new concept in most countries (in the few networks where it has been deployed), the experience depends on the bandwidth available. Equally important is the RF tuning and optimization done at the BTS level, which can perceptibly change the user experience.
Typically, streaming is done at 5-10 frames per second (a TV shows 30 frames per second), so it is important to have the right expectation even before you start to view a live TV stream on a phone.
? It will be possible to view live TV streaming on an EDGE enabled phone ? the Nokia 6230. It will not be possible to view it on any other phone, as there is no other EDGE enabled phone that supports streaming today in India.
? The service can be subscribed and accessed from the Airtel Live portal, and can be seen under ?Live TV? on the wap portal
http://live.airtelworld.com/
? Service will be chargeable per channel per month.
? To begin with, CNBC News channel will be offered, subsequently Aaj Tak, Sports and other entertainment channel will be added as we continue to strike agreements with other TV channels.
? The CNBC channel will be offered free of cost for the time being
? The service will be available to both pre paid and post paid customers.
To access live TV, a user must have subscribed to Airtel Live portal. If not, then he needs to be provisioned for Airtel Live portal before he can access live streaming.
The settings will have to be given to the customer over a telephone call, and will also be made available over the website. In a nutshell, the APN is airtelfun.com, proxy is disabled, and the UDP port range is from 1024 ? 65535.
On a Nokia 6230, the detailed steps for providing the settings are as follows:
1. Click ?Menu?
2. Go to ?Media? and press ?Select?
3. Scroll down to Media Player and press ?Select?
4. Scroll down to ?Streaming Sett? and press ?Select?
5. Select ?Active Connection Settings? and press ?Activate?
6. Now Scroll down to ?Edit Active Connection Settings? and press ?Select?
7. Enter Connection Name as ?Streaming? and press Ok
8. Scroll down to ?UDP Port Range? and enter 01024 ? 65535. Click Ok
9. Scroll down to ?Connection Settings? and press ?Select?
10. Scroll down to ?Proxies? and press ?Select?
11. Scroll down to ?Disable? and press ?Select?
12. Scroll Down to ?Data Bearer? and set it to GPRS (default)
13. Scroll Down to Bearer Settings and press ?Select?
14. Select ?GPRS access point?, enter Airtelfun.com and press Ok
15. Set Authentication Type to Normal (default)
16. Set Login Type to Automatic (default)
17. Leave ?User Name? and ?Password? blank (default)
18. Go to Standby Screen, and access the Airtel Live portal now.
19. Click on Live TV link on portal, and select the channel you have subscribed to.
20. After this, you will receive a SMS with the link to view Live TV.
21. Save this link as a bookmark (by entering it manually in ?New Bookmark?)
22. Once this bookmark is saved, select it to connect to the TV streaming server.
Regards,
Yuvaraj B
Customer Support Service
Airtel

Hmmm... are we getting a little better now? Yuvaraj could have left the info on speed and skipped the spiel (sic) on the 6230 and Live TV though.

Me:

Hi Yuvraj,
Again, I would like to ask for responses to my queries rather than hear the sales pitch on Live TV. I have received a response only to the 4th point.
The queries were and still are:
For Edge services @Rs.299 /month as mentioned at
http://www.airtel.in/Postpaid_otherservice.aspx?path=1/6/7/9&cid=4:
1. What is the monthly download limit on this?
2. Are there any other charges?
3. Will I have to pay extra while roaming in Delhi on Airtel's network for EGDE access?
4. What sorts of speeds could I expect assuming I use an EDGE enabled device?
5. Are any IPs/domains or ports blocked?
Regards,
Sunil

Airtel:

Dear Mr. Sunil,
Regarding your mobile number 9xxxxxxxxx
You had inquired about the EDGE phone for your Airtel mobile number 9xxxxxxxxx.
We would like to inform you that there is no limit for downloading in the EDGE phone and charges as per the downloading items.
The games will be chargeable on a per download basis, and will be priced at Rs. 99 per game. The game will expire after 6 months.
Further, we would like to inform you that 2 dedicated time slots will be available for EDGE. Depending on the air interface, the quality of coverage, other people in the cell area, speeds will vary between 40kbps-200 kbps. The bandwidth will get shared among as many users as present, who are using GPRS/ EDGE in that cell at that particular instant.
To access live TV, a user must have subscribed to Airtel Live portal. If not, then he needs to be provisioned for Airtel Live portal before he can access live streaming.
The settings will have to be given to the customer over a telephone call, and will also be made available over the website. In a nutshell, the APN is airtelfun.com, proxy is disabled, and the UDP port range is from 1024? 65535.
Further, any clarification you can contact our customer care center 121(toll free) for the same.
Regards,
Karthik
Customer Support Service
Airtel

Okay, I forgot to tell Karthik that I wanted to use this facility to connect to the internet - I was slightly bugged with this entire conversation by now though - the series of mail was going back and forth for quite a while by this time (yep - I made sure the entire series went back each time).

Me:

Okay... one LAST time before I post this hilarious conversation on my blog.
You DID respond to one question on the first mail and two on the second.
How about trying for the remaining two this time?
The queries were and still are:
For Edge services @Rs.299 /month as mentioned at
http://www.airtel.in/Postpaid_otherservice.aspx?path=1/6/7/9&cid=4:
1. What is the monthly download limit on this? (answered - no limit)
2. Are there any other charges? (answered - charges are only for downloading games etc from Airtels site)
3. Will I have to pay extra while roaming in Delhi on Airtel's network for EDGE access?
4. What sorts of speeds could I expect assuming I use an EDGE enabled device? (answered - low speed or high speed dependent on network availability and usage at the time)
5. Are there any IPs/domains or ports blocked?
Please note : I'm still NOT interested in hearing about Live TV.

Regards,
Sunil

Airtel didn't respond to this mail at all for 8 days, so I sent them this reminder.

Me:

Any update on this? It's been quite some time since I wrote to you asking for this information.
Regards,
Sunil

Lokesh (the person who finally responded the next day) didn't really feel like getting chatty like the other customer service people did, so sent this mail.

Airtel:

Dear Mr. Sunil,
You had expressed concern on Live TV for your Airtel number 9xxxxxxxxx.
We request you to kindly contact 7070 (toll free) from black berry hand sets for all the quiries about the Live Streaming.
Regards,
Lokesh
Customer Support Service
Airtel

There comes that Live TV thingy again, but a Blackberry???? What's the story on that one?

This guy really didn't want me to get any info, so pushes me off to the Blackberry and email tech support people at Airtel specifically telling me to call from "black berry hand sets". Damn... maybe he read the series and figured since I'd shelled out so much money on the two phones I've got that I wouldn't be able to get my hands on "black berry hand sets" and wouldn't call. Problem customer that I am, I tried anyway, and was instructed by the IVR to dial 121 - back to the old drawing board.

I fail to understand from all this why they would offer a service and not tell any of their customer support folks about it. I checked the link and the content of the page and it still says the same thing. One customer support person even assured me (on the phone) that there were no other charges for this service - at Rs. 299/month I would have high speed internet and would only have to pay for downloads from the Airtel portal. I'd feel a lot safer if I got this in writing in a mail or something since I've been burned in the past (and the only unlimited data card plan is 899/month for corporate customers).

Anyway, I'm sending a link to this entry to some folks at Airtel in hopes that I'll get some response (possibly even a comment) to my queries (if you'd care to check, my last reference number was 92083120782).

Later,
De.

Life is De sale

I haven't seen nearly enough of life yet... there's so much to see and so little time. The aim at the end is to maximise the amount of life you've truly lived. I've narrowed it down on occasion to dabbling in everything I've had a feeling I might like.
What is confusion? Is confusion a state where you're going for one thing, get halfway there and jump? That's not so much confusion as it is mess. Confusion is heading somewhere till you realise that there's something else - perhaps even better out there to head towards.
I've dabbled in lots of things -
music to metals,
cooking to wood,
As a bartender I'm told
I've been really good.

Building a car
out of Lego parts
won't take me far
even after it starts.

Creation's the pleasure
that makes it worthwhile.
I'd be obvious to you
by my permanent smile.

To get where you want
is a sale a De.
From this place to that
do whatever you say.

Communication begins
with a human out there.
Saying "thanks" in Japan
may get you a stare.

In Norway a fluke
may be amazing play.
You must have respect,
it's the people's way.

No dirt and no lies
is the only way to sell.
Praise it as perfume,
but get rid of the smell.

Computers are easy
to sell a concept to.
They understand only logic,
they haven't a clue.

Humans are beings,
they're hard to understand.
You need a good guide
to take you by the hand.

You learn one at a time
but learn you must.
And to you dear reader
this blog I entrust.

Ya ya! I know... It didn't finish with the general "pome" ending... realised that it's 3 in the am and aside from having to "wake up" and get out in another 4 hours or so, I've got some work to handle... love the work but it takes some time out of my life... good excuse for the delay in blogging n'est ce pas?

In the true spirito of "ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies" let me finish by saying:
I fully intend to finish this post in the next post, but may not get around to it given the fact that I'm dabbling in way too many things at the moment to commit any amount of time to any particular thing.

Damn... I just felt a tremour... Think maybe I'll get up early and finish the work.

3:10 now... good night all.

The end of De error

People come
people go.
It happens faster
than you could know.

The ones who stay
are too around.
The ones away
are hardly found.

You live through both,
the ones who care,
The ones who're there,
The ones nowhere.

The ones who last
you hold too close.
They're in the past
along with most.

In all the places
you have been
The stars have gone,
or lost their sheen.

The one you wanted
was always there.
Tied up in life,
going somewhere.

The path ahead
has many a thorn
upon which we walk
till the feet are torn.

People, places,
come in a word.
There is no meaning,
it's all absurd.

So change I must.
I always do.
I see the foot
in the other shoe.

And time screams on...
as it really must,
leaving memories
and lots of dust.

Clickety Clack went De keyboard

You must have seen those days... the ones where everything just went click...

Things fall into place better than they should yet you know there's something missing. Something wrong somewhere... a darkness around the aura of the place you're considering.

I got a call from a friend a while ago. I was sitting in a movie hall during the interval that had just begun.

"Sunil, would you be interested in a job?"
"Not really... I'm enjoying my job right now"
"but would you consider it? It's a business analyst position in my company"
"send me the profile... what sort of pay are we talking about here?"
"I'll send you the profile"
... 2 minutes later I almost fell of the seat...

Massive amounts of money. I wouldn't have to think twice about taking that house loan, but then what did the job involve?
Documentation (yuck!)?
Not exactly - the other folks'd handle that part.
Team management and mentoring of a team of Business Analysts... in a financial software product company.

Back the truck up a minute... did I just write financial software there? Don't I need a bit of experience in that domain first? I mentioned that repeatedly during the interview process... in fact, the interviews were more monologous - with me asking most of the questions. I expected to be able to get the job, but still didn't know if I wanted to leave my current job what with the release happening early next year... these guys called me to Bangalore to "meet someone who's come down from the US to meet the team".

I went there with a strange feeling. I felt bad that I didn't want the job and was landing up there for an interview, but then kept thinking that I might just take it.

click clack...

Reached Bangalore - quite coincidentally a friend (Bells) was down from the US in the Bangalore office that was in the same building as the company that'd called me. Though it made sense to stay with Bells while I was there (two days that were holidays in my company during which I was planning on being in Bombay, but didn't quite make it).

I reached the office and didn't really get a pleasant vibe. Coming from the company that I'm currently in, that doesn't surprise me much. I don't think I've ever worked in a place where the people I've got to interact with are so... nice doesn't seem strong enough a word, but it's the first one that comes to mind.

Bells told me about his plans to set up a business and I got pepped at the prospect of coming to Bangalore. At any rate, I met the guy who'd come down from the US and sat down with HR to discuss bizzniss...

I think one thing that helped me through the entire process was the I didn't really need the job. It was an option - not one that I particularly wanted, but an option never the less. I'm quite sure I'd have been great in the position and I think I made that clear with every talk I had with them.

I did manage to party a bit while I was there - hit a few of the "regular joints" on the second afternoon, picked up my offer letter in the evening, ran to the airport thinking I'd missed the flight, reached to find that it had been delayed and I was just in time. Managed a window seat despite being the last guy to check in, swapped it for an aisle seat when I got to the plane to let a guy sit next to his girlfriend (sweet aren't I?), then opened the letter.

I've never been so confused in my life. There I was thinking "no matter what happens I'm going to make the right decision anyway..." I wound up listening to about 50 different friends give completely contradictory opinions on what I should do. The most reasonable advice I got was to make a list with wieghted values on pros and cons. I got to it and had a <1% difference in the result. Dad was telling me to go... Ma was telling me to do what I thought was right...

Eventually, I decided to take it and called up Scrooge (one of my closest friends) and asked him if his flat was available - he's got a flat in the same complex as the other company office. The tenants were expected to leave at the end of the next month - clickety clack

Bangalore sans traffic? A new venture to keep me from getting bored? A new life of party opposite TGIF? Where was the block?

In my current organisation, the job's far from done. If I ever think of leaving it's going to be after my product's up and people are using it. I don't think I'd have done myself justice till people are downloading my work and putting it to good use.

With all the clicks
that have come in time
the clock still ticks
while the words still rhyme.

You pick and choose
what you have to do
and when the shoe really fits
that's when you find you.

This is De Life

There's something to learn
from everyone
that goes irrespective
of whether they're 'smart' or 'dumb'.

People have innate knowledge
whoever they are
the means and ends
are never too far.

For all the products
that have been bought or sold
the lives involved
are filled with gold.

Infinite clarity
of mind and soul.
The body rests
I'm on a roll.